Thinking about how much we can love others, makes me think how rare it is for us to love ourselves with such passion and devotion. In fact, if I were to ask you right now, if you loved yourself….what would your answer be? Would it be filled with a long list of your flaws, of the things about yourself that need improving before you were acceptable for loving? Would you find it difficult to even address the subject?
We are all flawed….every, single one of us. There is no perfect, there is no complete, there is no light with out shadow.
Our Shadow, refers to the part of us we would rather not talk about, look at, or pretty much acknowledge in any public setting. However, it is a pretty talkative companion, when we are alone, especially when we are feeling low. When we have experienced loss, it is our Shadow that speaks to us; telling us that we are not good enough to be loved, that we are flawed, and we are somehow bound for eternal suffering. It reminds us of all of these ‘flaws’, these unwanted bits of our personality, that must be hidden and protected, so the rest of the world will not know what losers we really are.
We must make friends with our Shadow, in order to have peace within our being. We must accept that we will never be perfect, and that these flaws; when addressed in the light, can be amazing teachers.
Our Shadow, is not something that has been forced upon us, nor is it our burden to carry. It is part of what makes us who we are, as unpleasant as it can seem. Another bit to consider is, we are most likely not hiding it as well as we think we are. In fact, we are pretty aware of the Shadowy bits, that belong to our loved ones, so there is a good chance those who love us, see our unsavory parts, as well. And yet, they still love us…
I have done a lot of work with the Shadow, both personally and as a Psychic & Healer. In working with my own Shadow, I had to acknowledge that I am both arrogant & manipulative. There you have it folks, my Shadow boldly stated for all to see. When I was young, it would bother me if anyone even insinuated that I was conceited, arrogant, vein, or manipulative. Now, I know these things to be true, I have come to peace with them…and I do not let them rule the show! It’s a lot easier to keep ones naughty bits in line, if you look them in the eye. Now when I am feeling hurt, discouraged, or outside the world, and the Voice of my Shadow speaks to me…I know it for what it is, and I see that I am in a vulnerable place; a place where I need to be gentle with myself. I do not let the Shadow tell me what to do, or how to act, but I realize when it comes around that I am treading on a thin place in my life. A place of vulnerability, and if I am careful there is great personal power to be gained.
Personal power, is the internal strength of will that we all possess to some degree. By facing our fears (shadow included), our strength of will grows.
I should point out; that our Shadow is not only a teacher, who reminds us when we are vulnerable and out of touch, but it also holds other gifts. For example, my arrogance is a powerful ally when I have to face intimidating things. It is the voice that strengthens me, often speaking in my Dad’s voice “Your better kid, because your a Brown”. Now, I do not actually believe I am better then everyone, but my arrogant Shadow certainly does. So sometimes, it’s nice to have it along on the cheering committee. If I had not come to terms with it, I would always be fighting it, pushing it aside and the only time it would get to surface; would be when I was at my most vulnerable…most likely to take it’s word as law. Now, it’s just part of the team…thankfully balanced out by the Light in me, that truly cares about my family, community, and world.
The balance of our light and dark, makes us who we are. Take some time and really look at your Shadow, those pieces you know are there, the ugly bits. Look at them from all angles, are there ways they can be used for good. How can you make peace with them. Remember, everyone you love, everyone you care about, everyone in the world is similarly flawed, just in a different flavor, and yet, we still can find love for them.
We need to Love Ourselves! When we deny love from ourselves, we hold back our light from the World…for we are always on guard, not wanting to make ourselves vulnerable, for others might see our ugly bits. News Flash!…they aren’t that well hidden. So be kind to yourself, spread love all about your life, even into those dark, shadowy corners. If you are serious about approaching your Shadow, for deep work. My suggestion is to work with someone; a Healer, Psychic, Counselor, or Friend, for it is helpful to have guidance. I will be offering a series on Self Love and the Shadow this Spring, so keep an eye out for event details. I hope you enjoyed the read Folks.