Yesterday was supposed to be a day off for me. I started my day believing I would lay around in my jammies crocheting and smoking pot while I watched some period piece online; intoxicating myself with rich fabrics and glamour. But I was soon brought around-face to my own over-achieving mind when I realized I had a phone call with my publisher. In my mind, I made up a quick scenario of being way behind; which involved a lecture and a bit of self-flagellation. When in truth I was not behind at all, I was way ahead of what they expected from me and had produced far more. In fact, I got a nice little pat on the head with my publisher telling me how impressed he was with how quickly I had progressed as a writer.
I'm sharing this because I wasted a whole day worrying about my inperfections that were in truth things I made up in my own mind. It left me contemplating all the times I had beat myself up after a seance or reading, telling myself that I had performed below my best and that was not acceptable, only to have the recipients of my work write to me to tell me how their experience with me had been profound for them. I know I am not alone in this! I know I am not the only one to look at myself with a thankless lens, always expecting more and better without showing appreciation for what I have done or who I am.
I am a deep thinker, which means I use these moments in my life when the universe shines its bright light on my inner world to grow. Yesterday my experience of thanklessness showed me how I needed to spend more time being thankful for myself as well as the world around me. I spoke about thankfulness last night in my Wisdom Keepers group and found that like me, most of the folks listening were in the same boat...always expecting more from themselves and their lives and seldom acknowledging the many things they had to be thankful for; particularly in the form of self.
This led me to choose thankfulness, just for a few days, or maybe longer if I like it! I ask you to join me for the next few days; from now until the day after Thanksgiving, choose to look through a thankful lens at yourself and the world around you. Instead of being annoyed at the cat crying for its morning kibble, be thankful that its your husbands job to feed the cat. Instead of looking at your puffy eyes in the mirror and bitching about your appearance, be thankful for make-up. Instead of being pissed off about COVID-19, be thankful for the slowed down speed it has created, and the ability to sit with yourself. I will be doing the same, and will let you know this weekend how it went. I hope you choose to join me!